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Scion’s Sacrifice (The Guardians of Light Book 3) Page 15
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Cassine felt Davar pushing through the pain which seared him body and soul. Yet even as he did, she felt the darkness infest more of her soul. This needed to end… before she was too far gone into the Blacklord’s evil.
Davar’s body was so tense it trembled, every muscle flexed and taut. His teeth were tight, grinding. His eyes clenched shut. Pain wracked him and billowed like wildfire in his soul.
His mind was a whirlwind of images. Unlike his other healings where there was a single moment in time which played out for him, this was jumbled and most of it wasn’t his memory. It was disorienting and confusing. He was seeing and living his mother’s pain and at the same time experiencing the twisted, euphoric exhilaration of the Blacklord himself as he tortured the woman. Nine months worth of pain and suffering was being thrown at him in a series of snippets and flickering images, hard enough to understand as it was, harder still while fighting the agony within his body.
Yet he would catch one of these memory fractions and put everything he had into accepting it. That was all he could do. This was an area of his life where he’d had no control at all. All of this had been done to him, and as much as he might have wanted to never imagine such things, he didn’t have a choice if he wanted to remove this stain from his soul. He could only accept that this evil had happened, that his mother had endured unimaginable torment for what had seemed like an eternity while carrying him. He knew someday he would face his father and that would be the day when he could do something about this horror, but for now he had to simply acknowledge and accept what had happened as much as it was loathsome and vile.
Slowly he worked, grabbing images, feeling the torment associated with them then moving on. It seemed like hours, days. He grew faint, his energy waning, his resolve fading, but every time he did Cass would be there, spurring him onward.
Because there was no order or logic to the images he couldn’t follow them through time, he didn’t know how many more there would be. It seemed like there were millions of them.
Time stretched minutes into days.
I don’t know how much more of this I can do, he said to Cass through their connection.
She was so strained. She didn’t even respond, he just felt her reassurance, though with it there was something else… fear?
Then suddenly there was no more room for thought or communication. His mind exploded with light and pain. It took him a moment to realize he’d reached the moment of his birth, the confluence of so much hatred, pain, and darkness. It was a violent birth, which perhaps was not unexpected. For a moment, he felt the ultimate pain from his mother. Davar knew then, that it hadn’t been the Blacklord who had killed his mother, it had been him, his birth. He’d sucked the living energy from the woman and destroyed her, sending her over the edge of pain and agony into death.
For a fraction of a heartbeat that tore at him, breaking him. Knowing he had killed his mother.
Then her voice came to him. No Davar, do not despair. Don’t you see? You saved me! Don’t you think the Blacklord would have wanted to keep me alive? He’d have been able to spawn more kin for him? Somehow, even though you were only a babe, you knew this. You took a part of me with you and allowed me finally to rest. You brought me to peace, my son. Thank you.
Then it was over, and the darkness was gone from him. He’d succeeded and destroyed what the Blacklord had put within him.
His body went slack, exhausted.
Cass felt the explosion of that fiery line of hatred and evil within Davar.
The blazing vile core vanished and with it, the rest of the black pillar crumbled. What remained was only peace and light.
The fingers of darkness which had reached into her soul begin to recede. They would fade to nothing in time now. She knew that if she had been in contact with that pure evil much longer she might have been tainted herself, but now she’d be saved that fate. She was too exhausted to be happy about that.
She drew herself out of Davar’s soul and shuddered once she felt her body once again. Everything ached. Sweat had matted her hair and soaked through her clothes. She was filthy, but again too tired to care.
“It’s done,” she said, her voice hoarse. She met Davar’s gaze — though his eyes were half-shut with fatigue — and smiled. He tried to smile, but he was already fading into sleep. She too felt her eyelids growing ever heavier. Putting her head on his chest, she yielded to sleep.
It must have been some time later when Cassine awoke since she actually felt rested. Davar was laying on his side next to her, playing with the glowing jewel, her gift, an odd look on his face. The stone was the only light in the room.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“I thought I’d feel different,” he said as he held up the smooth oval stone. “I thought I’d feel like this stone, all soft and glowing and smooth, but instead…” he grimaced and waved his head back and forth for a moment, uneasy. “Instead, I still feel like I’ve got a lot of jagged edges. I thought I’d be pure and perfect, like you.”
She had to smile. “I’m not perfect, Davar.”
He glanced at her. “Yes, you are.”
Her smile turned to a curt laugh. “No, I’m not. I have doubt and fear. I don’t always make the right choices. It’s called being human.”
He sighed. “I’ve always been more than human.”
“No,” she said shaking her head slightly. “You’re exceptional in many ways, but as far as your soul goes, you’re as human as the rest of us. Your emotions betray you, heaving up when you wish they would quiet, shining through when you wish they’d hide. None of us are perfect when it comes to our feelings.”
“Oh.”
She looked away for a moment still ashamed. “If you recall, I was the one who wanted to wait to be with you, but then nearly gave myself to you before we were ready. Emotions are unsteady things that take a lifetime to understand, but I don’t think anyone ever masters them.” She pushed those thoughts away as she brought her gaze back to him.
“Speaking of being together…” he said with a grin spreading across his face.
“Yes?” she asked, blinking her lashes in feigned innocence.
His face turned somber for a moment. “We’re both weary still, are you ready for this now?”
She put her hand behind his head and pulled herself up, half-sitting, to bring her lips to his in a deep kiss. When she drew back, she said simply, “Yes. Though I may not be up for too much.” With this, she slid off the bed and lifted off her dress.
For a moment, there was a flash of a memory, the last time she’d been naked in front of him. Only it hadn’t been him. The Blacklord had been controlling him. She shivered, partly from the cold of the room, partly from that memory. Fear pierced her heart, but then she saw the look in his eyes. It wasn’t the cold appraisal the Blacklord had given her, but one of warmth, tenderness, and love.
He brought a ball of flame to life in one hand, then he blew it gently from his hand as if blowing a kiss. It floated in the air, a torch with no handle. Four more times he created such glowing orbs, sending them off to float around them.
“I want to see you in all your splendor,” he said, his voice huskier than usual. He smiled softly, simply taking her in for a moment before breathing out a sigh. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen… and I’ve lived for two hundred years.”
Feeling the fire of the floating torches around her, she warmed. In fact, it seemed now the room was growing quite hot. She could see the longing in his eyes. That had always been there, his clear admiration for her, the physical desire. She’d brushed it aside before now. They hadn’t been ready. Yet, now with the purity, the light that shone within him she was faced with it at last. She found it mirrored her own desire. Her body was responding, growing warm from more than just the fires around her.
She, too, loved to simply look at him. He was already shirtless, his broad chest, wide shoulders and thick arms exposed. The flickering light of the fires still only served to emphasize his muscle
s, every ridge and line cast in sharp shadows over his skin.
He rose and removed his breeches. There was even more of him to admire now.
She trembled for a moment a different fear and trepidation filling her.
“This will be my first time.”
“I know,” he said softly. “I’ll be careful.”
She shook her head. She wasn’t sure if she wanted careful or not. It was more a matter of…” I don’t know… anything. I don’t know what I want or… I just don’t know. I’m unsure of—”
He raised a hand to silence her. “I understand.” He stepped in close, his body brushing hers in all manner of enjoyable ways. His hand slid behind her head, strong but still tender and he kissed her delicately.
When they drew apart, their faces were so close that when he spoke his lips brushed hers. “I love you Cassine,” he whispered.
The raw emotion in his voice touched her deeply, for it was not desire, not passion, not need or want, but a pure and tender love.
Tears came to her eyes. “I love you too, Davar.”
“And I am anything but unsure.” He gave her a quick peck. “We’ll explore this together, follow each other’s lead. Let me know what you like and what you don’t and I’ll do the same. Don’t worry too much.” He kissed her again, longer, deeper, pressing his body harder to hers in a heated embrace. “Did you like that?” he asked as his lips left hers.
She gave an exasperated sigh. “Yes, I think you know that.”
“Well then, let’s see what else you like.” He began to explore and she finally relaxed into the pleasant sensations.
The anticipation of the past months and the tension she’d felt for this moment slipped away finally into a glorious exploration and celebration of their love.
Duties dragged Cassine away despite a pull to be with Davar. After their exploratory first time together, she was anxious to feel his embrace once more. Throughout the day, she’d have a thrill go down her spine, shaking momentarily with the remembrance of their shared love.
She attended a counsel in the High Abbots chambers, but her thoughts were elsewhere. They were planning a great strike against the enemy forces on the plains below and she and her sisters would be needed more than ever to help the wounded. She caught that much and that was all. At the end of the meeting, High Sister Olinda pulled her aside.
“Are you well my child? You seem flushed and distracted.”
Cassine blinked, a blush blooming on her cheeks. “Oh, very well, just… tired,” she said and it was the truth, if not all of it.
The High Sister seemed to accept this, saying nothing further. She did smile faintly, lips pressed as if trying to keep in something. Then she left and Cassine’s heart stopped racing or at least raced less from embarrassment and more from anticipation of returning to Davar.
Her session with Starsong was fruitless. She still couldn’t understand how to alter the soul within the sword. With Davar, he had wanted to change. He’d been the one who’d faced and dealt with his emotions, she’d simply helped him. Yet Shadowfang didn’t want to change and forcing it wasn’t working as she’d hoped. She gave up early and retreated to Davar’s chambers.
As she arrived, Wyllea was leaving. The scion stopped and greeted her as a slow, mischievous grin spread over the other woman’s face.
“Wyllea? What are you doing here?”
“I think I might have a way to keep the Blacklord from getting into his head again. We’re going to give it a try tomorrow.” She kept a straight face as she spoke, but couldn’t help but breathe a few laughs at something when she finished.
“What?”
“I read minds remember. I try not to out of habit, but sometimes when people are having really strong thoughts it’s hard to ignore.” She patted Cassine’s shoulder. “I wish you and Davar all the happiness Tirol and I have found. Now get in there and be with your man before you make me blush.” Wyllea smiled and hurried off.
Blushing herself, Cassine entered the room.
“Great news!” Davar said leaping up from his bunk. “Wyllea thinks there may be a way to keep the Blacklord out.”
“Yes, I just spoke with her. You’re going to try it tomorrow,” she said lifting off her dress.
He raised a brow. “Aren’t we eager?”
“Yes,” she said, her heart pounding with excitement to be with him again. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you all day.” She’d closed the distance between them and was undoing the laces of his shirt. He lifted it off and her hands then went down to his breeches, unlacing them. They slid to the floor.
“What have you been thinking of?” she asked playfully.
“Whatever it was, I’ve forgotten now,” he said pulling her close for a hard, deep kiss.
She didn’t feel unsure this time. She knew from their previous time together he was a caring lover and had learned just how wonderful he could be. He showed her even more of his patience and passion as they came together again.
She let herself go, feeling all of the wonderful sensations of their joining as he pleasured her for what seems like hours, a timelessness of paradise. Her passion, like waves crashing on a shore, built to greater and greater peaks until she could take no more and she opened her soul to Davar.
She felt his ecstasy and pleasure, reveling in their joining. But he was holding back, restraining himself to ensure their time lasted as long as it could. When her own bliss poured into him from the connection she’d made and he suddenly felt everything she was, that all ended.
Together they cried out, wordless. They shared one perfect moment of harmony in a culmination and explosion of their passion.
Her eyes, which had been clenched shut for that heavenly instant, opened to find the room lit nearly as bright as day. It took her a moment to realize it was her. Golden light emanated from her skin, similar to the time long ago when she’d nearly given herself to him. Only this time it was ten times brighter, near to blinding. This was how she manifested her elation: as a combined joy of mind, soul, body, and spirit. It was beautiful.
It was a little while later, as they lay exhausted next to each other, when Davar asked, “What was that, at the end? You did something.”
“I opened up my soul to you. You felt what I was feeling.”
“Gods Cass, truly?” he whispered, a grin spreading on his face. “I… I would have never imagined.” He brushed his lips on hers and she responded, playing for a moment. When he drew back, he grinned. “You nearly blinded me at the end there.”
She giggled and squirmed a little, remembering. “I think that’s just how I show my pleasure. I’m guessing it’s a multi-talent thing. When I’m feeling really good in all four elements, I guess… I glow.” She couldn’t help another little laugh. “It’s just that no one’s ever made me feel that good on all levels before. That’s what you do to me. You’re amazing.”
He joined her laughter for a moment. When it had died down, he simply said, “We’re amazing.”
“I like that.” She snuggled closer to him. Her skin was cooling and the room was starting to feel less… hot than it had. “We’re amazing.” She kissed him.
As their lips separated, he ran a hand up her side and she felt a thrill run through her. He smiled mischievously. “And we can be again.”
That sounded like an amazing idea. She once again relaxed into his tender ministrations, fairly certain she’d be glowing again before long.
Chapter 17
Davar checked the knife. It was as sharp as any he’d known. He nodded and handed it back to Wyllea. “Go ahead.”
Wyllea looked over to Cass who stood close, next to Davar, her body pressed to his arm. He was sitting and Cass standing, which would make the procedure to come easier for all. He grabbed her thigh with a hand and gave it a squeeze to reassure her.
They were in a small room with a window letting in the blazing sun and warming air of an early spring day.
“It’ll be fine,” he said turni
ng his head to look up at her. The sight of her round bosom right there above his shoulders sent a thrill through him as he remembered their time together the previous night. Gods, but he was a lucky man.
She smiled faintly but didn’t seem much reassured. Then she let out a breath of a laugh and grimaced. “This probably won’t hurt you at all, but I can’t seem to make my feelings understand that.”
“I could squirm a little if you like; to make it look like it hurts,” he said, his tone playful, teasing.
“No, don’t. I couldn’t handle that.”
“Fine.”
“Are you two done now?” Wyllea said with a half grin. “I know you certainly didn’t get done with each other last night until late.”
Davar watched Cass blush furiously, the deep red blooming over her face and sinking into the collar of her dress.
“Sorry,” Wyllea said with a chuckle. “I can be a bit crass. I’ll stop with the mind reading.”
“Yes, please,” Cass said intently.
Davar just chuckled lightly. He didn’t much mind anyone reading his thoughts now. His soul and his mind were clean, for the first time ever. As for his thoughts about Cass, they were pure too, borne out of his love and desire for her. Everything he wanted to do with her was for her benefit and pleasure, and he didn’t see anything wrong with that. He could see how Cass could get embarrassed by such thoughts, however, so he’d keep as much as he could to himself.
Wyllea tapped the dull side of the knife against her hand. She spoke to Cass. “There’s something you should probably know. After today, I’m going to have a link to your man’s mind. I won’t even have to try. I’ll know what he’s thinking. In fact, I’ll probably have to work at keeping him tuned out. Are you good with that?”
“Oh, really? Ah…” Cass seemed a bit taken aback by this.
“It will be fine Cass,” Davar said. “Besides, it’s not like we have many other options.”
Cass pursed her lips then sighed. “You’re right. I guess I can live with that if you can.”